Ex girlfriend of a narcissist

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This blog is my personal diary of my relationship with a narcissist. I hope my experiences help others who are dealing with similar issues in their relationship, related to narcissistic spouse, physical and emotional cheating, mistrust, insecurity, infidelity and emotional abuse. I will write to this blog on regular basis. Please feel free to comment on any of my writings, I would greatly appreciate all feedback.
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Well, many things have happened again... some are positive, some negative. I guess thats how things go in life.

We spend very nice weekend together, narcissist was very pleasant and caring. As I have said, of course its not "all hell" with this man all the time, otherwise why would I have stayed with him this long... I am mainly writing to this blog about things which are bothering me in this person, and not so much about those things which I like about him, so it may give a bit "one-sided" image of him and of our relationship... but I guess all those who read this blog and who have been in a relationship themselves understand that there are always positive and negative things in a relationship, its never black and white. I guess we tend to complain to our friends about things which are bothering us, but when things are going well we dont so much mention about it... I just wanted to say this so that it would be clear that this man is not "thoroughly bad" person, that is not the image I want to give of him. This blog has been my "channel" to process all my doubts and negative feelings related to this relationship, and I understand that it may sound as if there is nothing positive there... but f course there is. Unfortunately, in this relationship there seem to be also those negative things more than in my previous relationships. I try sometimes to remember to write here also about those positive things, since this blog is meant to give a realistic view of one kind of human relationship, my relationship.

But today I have something else in my mind. Its something that has been bothering me and I dont quite know what I should think about it. Its the relationship of my narcissistic spouse to his ex. Narcissist has wanted to maintain a friend relationship with her, which means meeting her over drink and dinner etc. I am feeling bad about this, but I try not to say it so much, and I have never tried to stop narcissist from seeing his ex. I feel thats the decision he has to make himself. I have told narcissist that I feel sad about it if he sees her, and I feel that if he truly loves me, the fact that I feel sad about something and say it to him should mean something to him, and perhaps he would then avoid doing those things which make me feel sad, as I am avoiding doing things which I know would make him feel sad. I think thats what people do when they are in love.

But on the other hand, I have started to think that am I "over-reacting" to this, should I just accept that he is seeing his ex time to time for drink or dinner... as I said I have never tried to stop him but he has seen clearly that I am not happy about it. He says that he thinks he has right to meet whoever he wants, but I feel that in a relationship compromises are sometimes required, and this is (in my opinion) that kind of situation... I would never suggest to go for a dinner with my ex boyfriend, I know he would feel very, very negative about that... thats why its hurting me when he is doing those things even tho he knows it hurts me.

I understand that he feels I should not prevent him from seeing his friends, but I feel that seeing ex is a bit different, I cannot believe that I am only one in this world who feels uncomfortable about it if my man sees his ex. I think its pretty natural feeling. But still I am a bit confused now, not knowing for sure if its ok for me to feel like this, or am i being "unreasonable" when I wish he would not do this sort of things... I dont know. I will get back soon with updates. He is now planning to see her again, and I said I feel sad about the idea. I said to him "you will know how I feel about this, if you put yourself in my position and imagine how you would feel if I was going out with my ex boyfriend". This didnt seem to have any effect, but lets see how things go...

He will probably see her sometime during this week. If he goes out with her on friday or saturday night I think its quite bad, its like a date to me... I wish he would not do this, but I am not going to protest, I feel he makes his decision, and if I get feeling that he cares nothing of my feelings, it will bring my own feelings down, of course... I only wish I didnt feel this sad... well, best thing is to try to concentrate on my work and forget about this for a while. I just wish he would understand my point of view about this matter, and not behave as if I am being unreasonable... if I felt that he is at list trying to make me feel good about the situation and supporting me, then I would feel (I think) ok even if he goes out with her... but if I feel that he just makes those decisions without caring about my feelings, it hurts...

Almost there, thank you so much for your comments!!!!! I will write again to Forum, you are right, its good to get feedback from others in similar situation. I dont know how much time I will eventually got to write there, because it already takes a bit of time to write to this blog, but I will do it at some point. I am very glad you have been reading my thoughts and have been giving your opinions, I really appreciate it a lot!!! Thank you :)

If you wish to view all my posts simultaneously on one page please click on title "surviving infidelity and cheating in bad relationship" at the top of this page. This way the latest post will be displayed on top of the page and oldest at the bottom.
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