How to leave narcissistic spouse

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This blog is my personal diary of my relationship with a narcissist. I hope my experiences help others who are dealing with similar issues in their relationship, related to narcissistic spouse, physical and emotional cheating, mistrust, insecurity, infidelity and emotional abuse. I will write to this blog on regular basis. Please feel free to comment on any of my writings, I would greatly appreciate all feedback.
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It is not easy to leave narcissistic spouse. I tried to leave my narcissistic man many times during course of several years, but always returned and tried to make relationship work, even tho I knew that narcissist can never change. I was so much hoping that things could be as they were in the beginning... but they never can, not with a narcissist.
I really feel I have been in a way "addicted to narcissist"...I knew there was something horribly wrong in my relationship, and yet I was too weak to leave. Narcissist saw this and was taking advantage of it, enjoying when he saw me suffer when he was keeping me in his leash. I felt like a drug addict, even tho narcissist made me feel bad, I wanted to be in his presence. Even tho I could see how selfish, egoistic and mentally abusing person my narcissistic spouse was behind his mask, I still wanted to continue relationship. Narcissist had me hooked so strongly that it took years before I became strong enough to leave, but it was absolutely worth it to leave. Even tho I am not sure I am still completely free, I still feel I am missing narcissist time to time...


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