______________________________
This blog is my personal diary of my relationship with a narcissist. I hope my experiences help others who are dealing with similar issues in their relationship, related to narcissistic spouse, physical and emotional cheating, mistrust, insecurity, infidelity and emotional abuse. I will write to this blog on regular basis. Please feel free to comment on any of my writings, I would greatly appreciate all feedback.
______________________________
Today and yesterday have been good days in that sense that I have again become a bit stronger. I felt for a while that I wanted to get back with my narcissistic partner, I remembered all the "good times" and I was thinking I am able to cope with "my" narcissist if I really try... I was thinking that even tho this man is narcissist that does not mean he is "evil", etc etc thoughts like that were going around in my head.
Narcissist has actually been back in town now for a while, and of course that is the reason for my moments of weakness... I must say that I actually got romantic with "my" narcissist again.. :( Aaargh, I am so totally ASHAMED to confess that here, after everything I have wrote about getting rid of my narcissistic spouse... Well I guess this only proves that it is SO DAMN HARD to let go of narcissistic partner. Also it proves I am human after all... There were times when I thought I could no longer feel anything, I felt so empty inside due to mental abuse, shouting, mocking, criticizing and all that horrible stuff those of us experience who are in relationship with narcissist. But looks like I still can feel, narcissist has not yet destroyed me completely.
Well... I am now trying to gather my strength again and try not to get back into that emotional trap where I was held for so long. My narcissistic man is trying to be so sweet again... but I can now see through his mask. And I see no real emotions there. Narcissist simply knows (or thinks he knows) which strings he must pull in order to make me stay with him.. Now it is up to me to prove him wrong.
I will get soon back with updates... if you are in similar situation, please feel free to comment on this blog, I would greatly appreciate all feedback! Lets support each other on this difficult, difficult road to recovery after ending relationship with narcissist!
If you wish to view all my posts simultaneously on one page please click on title "surviving infidelity and cheating in bad relationship" at the top of this page. This way the latest post will be displayed on top of the page and oldest at the bottom.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I wish you the best, You are a strong woman to deal with so much stress from an awful man. Is he starting to act better. bigdaddyspy
ReplyDeleteIf you know you not ready for a relationship why get into one and still cheat and liar. I was dying inside for my cheating spouse, i had no prove, no one to run to. Everyone thought i was paranoid. until i was referred to a Private Investigator Mr James . I told him about my situation and He understood me well and helped me spy on my spouse.He hacked my spouse Gmail and Facebook account and linked all my spouse WhatsApp and phone conversation to me, to find out the truth.I saw all the evidence and i was heart Broken,I just want to openly say thank you to Mr James for helping me get evidence against him,i feel so hurt. If you need help please contact him Mr James (Worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) via Email.
ReplyDeleteMy girlfriend has been cheating on me for months and I had no idea, I searched online to get help spying her phone. I finally found a recommendation about a reliable PI to help and I strongly recommend worldcyberhackers@gmail.com Mr James to anyone who needs help spying their partner. I was able to access her phone contents remotely and It literally worked without traces. Don't hesitate to message him if you need help, tell him i referred you.
ReplyDeleteMy girlfriend has been cheating on me for months and I had no idea, I searched online to get help spying her phone. I finally found a recommendation about a reliable PI to help and I strongly recommend worldcyberhackers@gmail.com Mr James to anyone who needs help spying their partner. I was able to access her phone contents remotely and It literally worked without traces. Don't hesitate to message him if you need help, tell him i referred you.
ReplyDelete