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This blog is my personal diary of my relationship with a narcissist. I hope my experiences help others who are dealing with similar issues in their relationship, related to narcissistic spouse, physical and emotional cheating, mistrust, insecurity, infidelity and emotional abuse. I will write to this blog on regular basis. Please feel free to comment on any of my writings, I would greatly appreciate all feedback.
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I have decided to try a new approach to deal with my narcissistic spouse... At this moment I feel that there is so little hope for us, that I can actually do a bit of "experimenting", just to see how it works, out of curiosity of how narcissist will react... Perhaps this "experiment" will provide useful peace of information for others, who are in similar situation in their relationship. My strategy is this:
I am going to stop trying to make narcissist understand me and my point of view. I am going to be friendly, but in the same time indifferent towards narcissist and his actions. I am going to distance myself from narcissist. I will tell narcissist that I need a bit of space in relationship, and sleep couple nights in different room, and definitely not having any sex with him. The reason for "no sex" is not revenge or anything like that, I simply feel right now so disgusted thinking of making "love" to this man... I dont want him to touch me that way, thought of it makes me feel sick in my stomach... I am going to detach myself from narcissist emotionally, not getting upset, not reacting when he tries to argue, not anymore caring so much about his doings... but I shall not be impolite, since that would only make narcissist angry, which is nothing new to me. Now I want to see how narcissist reacts in "new" situations. I will simply be very neutral.
Lets see how narcissist reacts to this... will he lose all interest in me, if I no longer react to him the way he hopes (get emotional, tell narcissist that I wish we could make things work, tell him I care for him etc)? Will narcissist realize that something is not right and would he try to do something about it? Perhaps narcissist just simply leaves me if he thinks I lost all interest in him... if it happens, so be it. I am taking that risk, I no longer care if narcissist goes or stays. My love towards him has all but died.... I wish it dies completely soon, that would make everything so much easier for me. Lets see what happens with this my new strategy...
Has anyone ever tried this kind of strategy towards a narcissist, and what kind of effect it had, if any? Do you believe that this kind of approach could actually change anything? Or could it make matters much worse? As I said, I am not going to be impolite towards narcissist, just a bit distant and very neutral... How do you think a narcissist will react to this kind of change in behavior?
I will keep you informed of how things go!
If you wish to view all my posts simultaneously on one page please click on title "surviving infidelity and cheating in bad relationship" at the top of this page. This way the latest post will be displayed on top of the page and oldest at the bottom.
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Sorry, but I don't think it's worth the bother. Save yourself the agony and further heartache. I doubt it will make any real difference. You are only postponing the inevitable. Try to get out with other friends who value you and treat you well and cut off contact with this man who hurts you and treats you so badly. You do not deserve this. Let him get on with it.
ReplyDeleteThere is much difficulty in dealing with NPD. If the NPD'er sees their mistakes and truly seeks recovery, do not abandon them. ONLY when SOMEONE cares and stands by them can they ever find another way to live life. There are pros who will run from the NPD'er it is that difficult to treat but it can be done. But there can be change if both sides desire it enough. Finding the cause and understanding the effects that cause has made prevalent is a long and hard struggle. The fear an NPD'er holds deep inside is the most disabling thing they face, hour by hour, day by day. So they compensate in sometimes the most horrible ways to survive in the world they find themselves a part of.
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