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This blog is my personal diary of my relationship with a narcissist. I hope my experiences help others who are dealing with similar issues in their relationship, related to narcissistic spouse, physical and emotional cheating, mistrust, insecurity, infidelity and emotional abuse. I will write to this blog on regular basis. Please feel free to comment on any of my writings, I would greatly appreciate all feedback.
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It is interesting how there are ups and downs... Sometimes I feel I am really missing narcissist. I remember all the "good times" we had (we did have those too..), and I feel nostalgic. But then I also remember all the abuse and mental suffering narcissist put me through and my mind is filled with strong hatred towards him... This feeling gets worse at night, just before I go to sleep. Memories will come to my mind, all those times when narcissist was mocking me, shouting at me and mistreating me. Those moments I am so glad narcissist is not in this house with me!!!!
I realize now how twisted my relationship was. I took all those horrible things that happened as "normal", I did not realize that narcissist crossed the limit million times when it comes to respectable human behavior. Or I guess I did realize with some part of my brain, and that is why I was suffering, because i was in a place where I knew I should not be... But all that emerged so slowly (mocking, shouting, mistreating etc) that I did not somehow fully realize it before I was already in so deep that it was very difficult to get out. I am glad I finally started to see the light. Better late than never..!
If you wish to view all my posts simultaneously on one page please click on title "surviving infidelity and cheating in bad relationship" at the top of this page. This way the latest post will be displayed on top of the page and oldest at the bottom.
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I have been following your blog and I am totally amazed how you were able to deal with a narcissist. I respect your feelings and your emotions.
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