______________________________
This blog is my personal diary of my relationship with a narcissist. I hope my experiences help others who are dealing with similar issues in their relationship, related to narcissistic spouse, physical and emotional cheating, mistrust, insecurity, infidelity and emotional abuse. I will write to this blog on regular basis. Please feel free to comment on any of my writings, I would greatly appreciate all feedback.
______________________________
I have now been able to take a bit of distance from my narcissistic spouse. It has really helped me, even tho in the same time it has been very hard, since I still feel I am somehow mentally "attached" to my spouse.. But it is getting a bit better every day. I have been trying to occupy myself by doing different things, new things, things which I have not done before. I have made new friends and started some new hobbies. I have tried to walk outside and take care of my health the best I can. I have better days and then some worse days, but slowly I feel I am recovering after my relationship with narcissistic spouse...
Now after a bit of time has passed, I have started to realize how horrible my situation has been when I was living with narcissist. It seems amazing that I have been able to maintain my mental health... I guess I have been depressed during last year due to all mocking and mental abuse performed by my narcissistic spouse, without realizing my condition. I have been reading about experiences of others who are living with narcissistic spouse, and I am shocked how similar my experiences are. It feels good to know I am not alone.
My narcissistic spouse has almost destroyed my self-esteem... almost, but hopefully not completely. Painful emotions related to cheating are difficult enough to handle, and on top of that I have had this horrible stress caused by mental abuse. I wish nobody would have to go through what I have been going through... But I know there are many people in this world who are going through this at this very second. I wish that my experiences of living with a narcissist would help those people to see their situation more clearly and break free from abusive relationship before it is too late.
It is amazing how much one can put up with when one believes one is "in love"....
If you wish to view all my posts simultaneously on one page please click on title "surviving infidelity and cheating in bad relationship" at the top of this page. This way the latest post will be displayed on top of the page and oldest at the bottom.
______________________________
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I too am going through this....30+ yrs of marriage nearly destroyed within the past 8-9 months. Verbal abuse, mental abuse, cheating, lying, NEVER wrong, grandiose, etc. This is all magnified by falling off the wagon too. He has always shown narcissistic tendencies, which I just let slide by, but has become all out unbearable with the alcoholism and the cheating now too.
ReplyDeleteIt's taken me 27 yrs to realize and 'get' that I have been married to a narcissist. The mental pain and realization is almost unbearable to know and finally 'get' you've been duped for so long...truly painful.
ReplyDeleteNow at 50 yrs old, I am truly unhappy in this relationship. I love him, however, I am no longer in love with him. I changed my life path to please him - none of it was ever good enough...now, after all this time...I'm here, unhappy, without my degree (I quit so I could work and get him through school)having worked crap jobs for 26 yrs, raised our son alone, verbally and emotionally abused, stripped of my friends, family, my self esteem, beaten down emotionally to believe it was me that was insane, undeserving, unworthy...now, I find out he had an 8 yr affair - yep, he's remorseful but wants me to just put it aside and go forward...I'm just a shell of person pretending to be living.
This story is 27 yrs long... in the end..I'm 50 yrs old, unemployed, dependent on him, without an education and degree, and no longer in love.
I have storms in my head...how did I get here? I trusted, I loved and I followed the rules..he cheated and made up new rules that I was unaware of...I lost.
If you married or involved with a narcissist - RUN...just get the hell out as fast as you can.
Good luck..
Peace..
I just found this blog and your pain - I see was three years ago - is also mine currently. I am wondering how you are doing three years later. I am in the process of divorce. Feel relieved to be free of him and yet the future is scary as I am 55 and have been a stay a home mom for 23 years. I hope you are very happy and thriving!
DeleteAnonymous also!
Its so sad that woman like you needed to suffer those kinds of misery in life. No one deserves it. I'll be praying for your safe. God Bless..
ReplyDeleteMy Husband was so smooth at hiding his infidelity so I had no proof for months, I was referred to some hacker and decided to give him a try.. the result was incredible because all my cheating husband's text messages, whatsapp, facebook and even phone conversations was linked directly to my cellphone. (worldcyberhackers@gmail.com ) Mr James helped me put a round-the-clock monitoring on him and I got concrete evidence and gave it to my lawyer..if your husband is an expert at hiding his cheating adventures contact Mr James via Email
ReplyDeleteMy husband and i got Married last year and we have been living happily for a while. We used to be free with everything and never kept any secret from each other until recently everything changed when he got a new Job in NewYork 2 months ago. He has been avoiding my calls and told me he is working,i got suspicious when i saw a comment of a woman on his Facebook Picture and the way he replied her. I asked my husband about it and he told me that she is co-worker in his organization,We had a big argument and he has not been picking my calls,this went on for long until one day i decided to notify my friend about this and that was how she introduced me to Mr James(Worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) a Private Investigator who helped her when she was having issues with her Husband. I never believed he could do it but until i gave him my husbands Mobile phone number. He proved to me by hacking into my husbands phone. where i found so many evidence and proof in his Text messages, Emails and pictures that my husband has an affairs with another woman.i have sent all the evidence to our lawyer. I just want to thank Mr James for helping me because i have all the evidence and proof for my lawyer,I Feel so sad about infidelity.
ReplyDeleteI suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s phones Text messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via email(worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) or Text/call : +12317945543
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteMy girlfriend has been cheating on me for months and I had no idea, I searched online to get help spying her phone. I finally found a recommendation about a reliable PI to help and I strongly recommend worldcyberhackers@gmail.com Mr James to anyone who needs help spying their partner. I was able to access her phone contents remotely and It literally worked without traces. Don't hesitate to message him if you need help, tell him i referred you.
My girlfriend has been cheating on me for months and I had no idea, I searched online to get help spying her phone. I finally found a recommendation about a reliable PI to help and I strongly recommend worldcyberhackers@gmail.com Mr James to anyone who needs help spying their partner. I was able to access her phone contents remotely and It literally worked without traces. Don't hesitate to message him if you need help, tell him i referred you.
ReplyDeleteMy husband was so smooth at hiding her infidelity and I had no proof for months, I saw a recommendation about a Private investigator and decided to give him a try.. the result was incredible because all my cheating husbands text messages, whatsapp, facebook and his phone conversations was sent directly to my Personal computer. Mr James helped me put a round-the-clock monitoring on him and I got concrete evidence and gave it to my lawyer..I say no to infidelity if your husband is an expert at hiding his cheating adventures contact him through Gmail he will help you(Worldcyberhackers) or WhatsApp : +12678773020
ReplyDeletekütahya
ReplyDeletetunceli
ardahan
düzce
siirt
EUV