______________________________
This blog is my personal diary of my relationship with a narcissist. I hope my experiences help others who are dealing with similar issues in their relationship, related to narcissistic spouse, physical and emotional cheating, mistrust, insecurity, infidelity and emotional abuse. I will write to this blog on regular basis. Please feel free to comment on any of my writings, I would greatly appreciate all feedback.
______________________________
It is not easy to leave narcissistic spouse. I tried to leave my narcissistic man many times during course of several years, but always returned and tried to make relationship work, even tho I knew that narcissist can never change. I was so much hoping that things could be as they were in the beginning... but they never can, not with a narcissist.
I really feel I have been in a way "addicted to narcissist"...I knew there was something horribly wrong in my relationship, and yet I was too weak to leave. Narcissist saw this and was taking advantage of it, enjoying when he saw me suffer when he was keeping me in his leash. I felt like a drug addict, even tho narcissist made me feel bad, I wanted to be in his presence. Even tho I could see how selfish, egoistic and mentally abusing person my narcissistic spouse was behind his mask, I still wanted to continue relationship. Narcissist had me hooked so strongly that it took years before I became strong enough to leave, but it was absolutely worth it to leave. Even tho I am not sure I am still completely free, I still feel I am missing narcissist time to time...
If you wish to view all my posts simultaneously on one page please click on title "surviving infidelity and cheating in bad relationship" at the top of this page. This way the latest post will be displayed on top of the page and oldest at the bottom.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hi i have been married to a N for 4 years now. I have 2 children. I am financially dependent on N. I am trying my best to prepare to leave N. Am worried about the custody of the children and the fact that leaving him will make him even more vindictive. I am staying separately at the moment saying I need to think things over. Can a N be really attached to his children. It appears that he adores the older kid and is not particularly interested in the younger one.
ReplyDeleteI moved 300 miles away from my family and friends to be with this Narcissit and since then I've lost the love and respect of many friends and family members.They believe that I like my situation and that I enjoy the abuse and like to complain.He has tore me down and has caused great tension with my children and I.I feel completely alone like I have no where or no one to turn to.
ReplyDeleteI left my NPD husband 3.5 years ago and he is still in my life, not because I want him to be but because he won't let go. He doesn't understand how HIS wife left him. I did the ultimate wrong in his life and left him and in his world I was disobedient and so I should be punished. He's been on self-destruct ever since, but he stops at nothing to try and intimidate me. He still needs that high from controlling me and my emotions. He actually tries to get me to repeat him for that little tiny bit of control during phone calls. Nothing makes him madder than my refusal to even react emotionally to any of his requests. The more aloof I am, the better off I am and worse off he is. I eventually changed my number, but I fear it's just a matter of time before he appears on my doorstep. Leaving an NPD spouse was the scariest and also best thing I could have done for myself. I was lucky to get out when I did. All I can say is, in this type of situation - support...support...support. You'll need it and also please done feel it beneath you to seek out counseling. It's good to have some outside perspective in a world where you are lead to believe you are the crazy one. Good Luck.
ReplyDeletehave just escaped one,, luckily i had kept my own house, luckily I have kept my job, luckily I have friends, luckily I trusted my intuition enough to keep a safety net while I trialled living with him, much to his annoyance, what a nasty little weasel of a man, serial cheating, sending women nuts, ex in the background the whole time, gradually chipping at my self confidence, then LUCKILy he cheated right under my nose, gave my mind the hard evcidence I needed, now he keeps texting me with horrible time he is having, how he did everything for me, god what a creep, luckily I got mad and got out, blasted my way throught the symptoms of depression and disempowerment, I felt, the questions whats wrong with me, why a I unhappy, maybe I am too fat, my brain too active etc etc. phew and freedom here I come good luck to all who have encountered these closet monsters, creatures of the sewers in sheep or glamours clothing.
ReplyDeleteoh boy I wonder if we met the same man ! Shropshire ? I got the same cheated under my nose, thank god, thank god I got over my own moral code and checked his phone and stopped myself going completely mad. I ran and sure then the texts started. All two years ago and the texts only finally stopped about six months ago. All weird. very weird.
Deleteleaving a narcissist can also be dangerous. Some of them are able to kill being in rage that his "property" is moving on without his "permission".
ReplyDeleteMarried to a N and afraid. The infidelity and exploitation has only recently surface as I truly believed he was "working". I had misinterpreted ego and his desire to be seen certain ways in public as insecurity.
ReplyDeleteI have protected, accepted, and validated. A year ago he was stuck and begged me to stay with him as he admitted to affair. Promising to live a simpler life and beggiing me to stay worked.
Sex had been an issue and after being without for years as he had affair, I took it upon myself to help.
Pathetic as it was, the situation became worse. The more I enjoyed being with him, the less time we spent together.
He left me and his girls to work over seas. It was only after his departure that I became clear.
Since his image will be negatively affected if we don't follow him I know he will want us to. Fear permeates and I find myself unable to predict his next move.
Any advice?
Run. Get yourself financially secure....job...savings...seek therapy...get involved w z church for friendship and support. I know your post is old. I wonder what happened to you...
ReplyDeleteHi. I've been married to a N for 2 years. He is not unfaithful, but he has all of the other characteristics. I go depression recently, and I am working on overcoming it. We live in my house and everything is mine. I supported him financially for the 2 years, from fuel to cigarets. Now he retired and said that he is getting all the money that the government owes him. I hope to get most of the money he owes me and kick him out of the house. I am no afraid for me, but I have a 13 year old. he gets furious when something doen't work the way he wants it. I already secure a lawyer, not sure when and how deliver the news. The lawyer adviced me to wait till Feb 1 to see if any money comes in. Any advice as to how to deliver the divorce news?
ReplyDeleteI suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s phones Text messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via email(worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) or Text/call : +12317945543
ReplyDeleteMy girlfriend has been cheating on me for months and I had no idea, I searched online to get help spying her phone. I finally found a recommendation about a reliable PI to help and I strongly recommend worldcyberhackers@gmail.com Mr James to anyone who needs help spying their partner. I was able to access her phone contents remotely and It literally worked without traces. Don't hesitate to message him if you need help, tell him i referred you.
ReplyDelete